Last year, around this same time, I noted a dip in my writing productivity and I attributed it to a tooth infection and traveling. This year, I didn’t have such handy excuses, but the dip in productivity happened anyway.
While I am going to note that I experienced a major depressive phase this month (one that I’m still not sure I’m completely out of), I find it interesting to see that it once again happened right around the time the seasons changed. It’s equally interesting to note some of the things I did by way of trying to get out of it:
- I began to keep a personal/spiritual handwritten journal again;
- I made several posts on this site’s blog; and
- I even started a new blog that focuses on an aspect of my non-writing life.
Clearly, then, the problem was not a lack of writing productivity itself, although my word count was the lowest it’s been this year. Instead, it’s a situation of my creativity, particularly as it regards fiction, taking a nose-dive.
Part of it, I suspect, was some burn-out. I pushed really hard to finish “An Illumination of Days” in September, and when that actually happened I found myself flailing a bit. The fact that I’d also finished the bulk of the fan fiction rewrites around the same time added to the feeling. All of a sudden, I found that I was at some natural crossroads, and that I wasn’t at all sure which direction I should go next.
That, combined with the anhedonia that happens during many people’s depressive periods — including mine — meant I simply couldn’t push myself into any creative work. I am, however, pleased to see that I didn’t stop writing altogether.
This wasn’t writer’s block, then; it was a setback that very possibly was exacerbated by seasonal change. And, fortunately, I was far enough ahead of my word count goal at the end of September that I was able to carry it through October without falling behind.
All is definitely not lost.
That said, I will fall behind if I don’t pick up the pace in November. My goal is to meet the monthly writing goal with at least 50% of my word count being fiction or fan fiction. (It’s not as though I don’t have anything in progress, either; there’s quite a bit I can work on.)
So, for October, I’m giving myself a little grace and celebrating the fact that I didn’t stop writing altogether. Hopefully that base will give me something to build upon for November.